MAMP Book Review: Will by Will Smith

It just so happened that when #TheSlap of 2022, aka, that time when Will Smith smacked Chris Rock at the Oscars for disrespecting his wife, I was in the middle of reading his riveting, self-titled memoir, Will. (No subtitle, just Will.) While I was already enjoying the book, pre-Slap, I was more motivated to get all the way through it, post-slap, to see if his behavior on Oscar night would make more sense.

And dear reader, it really did.

Will By Will Smith is a Good Book

Before I get into how the backstory of Will Smith’s trauma from childhood provides context for his Oscar-night attack, I want to say that I enjoyed this book very much. Will and his co-author, Mark Manson, did a masterful job telling the story of Will Smith’s unbelievable rise to superstardom, while at the same time unraveling a parallel story of one man’s self destruction. Without apology, in his memoir, Smith admits to relentlessly pursuing success at the expense of being a good father and husband for his family. He also recognizes by the end of the book, that a lifetime of acting allowed him to avoid ever really getting to know his own authentic self.

Unveiling the Secrets to His Success

One of the many things I enjoyed about this book was the behind the scenes trip down memory lane of some of the greatest moments in pop culture history. That is, the pop culture history of my youth. From the infectious, Parents Just Don’t Understand, to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, to the incredible movie, Ali, so many of Will Smith’s greatest achievements were touchstones of my own coming of age. And in the book, the reader gets to see how so many of these groundbreaking achievements – the first grammy for a rap song, the highest grossing film in the world – came to pass. And be clear, Smith’s success was not a by-product of coincidence or circumstance,  but rather, by his military-style work ethic, and his unwavering commitment to high achievement. In other words, Will Smith acted like the word no wasn’t in his vocabulary when it came to achieving his goals.

But that wasn’t always a good thing.

Even Will Smith Can’t Have it All

Yes, “money can’t buy happiness” and “success means nothing if you have nobody to share it with” are both tired cliches, but that doesn’t mean they’re not true. They are in fact, very true. But that doesn’t mean that smart people like Will Smith know that. Or maybe he did know that at one point, but simply forgot. As the book builds, we see Smith becoming a successful rappper, and then a sitcom star, and then a movie star, and then a global superstar. And accordingly, his fortunes grow with his fame. He buys big houses, multiple cars, and takes lavish vacations. But somehow he’s never satisfied – with either his fame or his fortune – and neither is his family. And that brings us back to that traumatic childhood.

Daddy Issues in the Smith Household

“I’ve always thought of myself as a coward,” is how Smith begins his memoir. Not exactly what one would expect from one of the, “most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time.” But Smith’s cowardice comes from his feelings as a young child in the face of his father’s violent, alcohol-fueled abuse. Too often, Smith was witness to his father beating his mother and he never forgave himself for not being able to protect her. He also never forgave himself for not being brave enough to stand up to his father and keep his nuclear family intact. Will really lays bare his childhood trauma and is able to point to those haunting feelings of cowardice and inadequacy as fueling his rise to stardom, as well as his poor choices as a family man. Interestingly, Smith never goes into specifics as to how he “forgave” his father, but we see that the two maintained a relationship until the elder Smith died.

The Slap Makes Sense

As I mentioned in my essay about TheSlap, I do not condone violence and I do not think Will Smith had any right to lay hands on Chris Rock, regardless of how wrong Rock’s dig at Jada Pinkett Smith was. Still, after reading Smith’s book, I understand a few things about the man that provide context for TheSlap. First, I understand that Will Smith had a violent past. I also understand that Will Smith carries with him both guilt and shame for not protecting his mother and that probably exacerbated his need to protect his wife.

And I understand that pretending to be perfect for 30 years in Hollywood, when in fact you’re really just a flawed human being like the rest of us, can make a person snap – even in the middle of the Academy Awards.

The Search for Success

Throughout this 413-page book, Will Smith makes a really good case that what he is, is indeed just a regular, flawed, human being that money and fame couldn’t fix. And at the end of the day, only through self-reflection and a whole lot of therapy, will he ever feel good about himself. Spoiler alert: By the end of the book, Smith does make that realization and reading about his confrontation with all of his demons is powerful. Whether you care about TheSlap or not. Whether you grew up Getting Jiggy with It or not, Will by Will Smith is still a really good memoir about one man’s relationship with success. I highly recommend it.