On episode 18 of My American Meltingpot, we’re talking about how and when to talk to our children about race. Let’s be clear, we’re not going to give you a color-by-numbers script on how to talk to your children about race because, first of all, we don’t know your children. We don’t know what race you or your children are. We don’t know how old your children are. We don’t know if your children already have their own ideas about race, and we certainly don’t know what your ideas are about race. And all of those factors matter when we strike up a conversation about race with our children.
On the show, we discuss how to talk to our kids, when to talk our kids and most importantly, what the heck we should actually be sharing when it comes to race. Spoiler alert: This isn’t a one-and-done conversation.
Joining me for this important discussion are three amazing women who are all really smart, really accomplished and are all mothers and educators. They also each represent different racial and ethnic backgrounds. They are, Lisa Nelson-Haynes, Eileen Flanagan and Homa Sabet Tavangar. If you are an educator or you have children, you don’t want to miss this episode.
KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THE SHOW
There is no standard conversation. The conversations about race in your house are going to depend on the racial make-up and lived experiences of the people in the house. The conversations being had in a white family will obviously look vastly different than those in a family of color. Still, both families need to be having theses conversations.
Frequency is key. Talking about race with our children should not happen once or twice, or worse, only in response to a racially charged incident. Way before our children are even aware of race and racism, we should be exploring diversity and difference with them on a regular basis, so they are better equipped to have more difficult conversations when those instances arise.
Talk is cheap. While it is incredibly important to equip our children with the language they need to talk about race and difference, talking isn’t enough. We need to model behavior that shows what empathy, acceptance, and inclusion really looks like in real life. Who do you socialize with? Where do you send your child to school? Who do you worship with? Children will get the message loud and clear, even if you never say a word.
Don’t make race a dirty word. We don’t children of any race to fear these conversations, nor do we want them to feel that racism is going to “get them.” We need to make sure we are teaching lessons of hope and resilience when we are talking about this nation’s history and current state of affairs.
Nobody gets a pass. People of color need to have diversity discussions too. We are not exempt from teaching our children about difference, empathy and inclusion. Also, even the wokest white people among us have to continuously educate themselves and their children. Almost all adults have to unlearn some racial baggage we’ve carried over from our parents and make sure we don’t pass that baggage along to our kids.
LINKS from the SHOW
A few resources were mentioned during the show that you might want to read while on this journey.
White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh is an easy-to-read hand-out explaining white privilege.
Same Family, Different Colors: Confronting Colorism in American’s Diverse Families by Lori L. Tharps is my book about skin color differences in American families and how they affect parenting and family dynamics.
Growing Up Global: Raising Children to be at Home in the World by Homa Sabet Tavangar. Written by our guest Homa, this is a delightful book full of activities, stories and resources for parents and educators.
Global Kids Activity Cards by Homa Sabet Tavangar. These brand new activity cards are Homa’s newest project and look to be a wonderful resource to teach young kids about the beauty of global diversity.
Our guest, Eileen Flanagan wrote an insightful post about the connections between racism and climate change earlier this year on the MAMP blog. It’s definitely worth a read.
The Meltingpot Minute was all about the MAMP book club and our latest book club pick, The Other Americans. It’s not too late to start reading and join the club.
WHERE to FIND…
To keep up with Lisa, Eileen and Homa, you can find them here:
Lisa Nelson-Haynes: Check out her work on the podcast Mouthful.
Eileen Flanagan: Visit her website Eileen Flanagan.com
Homa Sabet Tavangar: Follow her on Twitter @HomaTav
