Five Simple Reasons Why I Don’t Do Playdates

Hello Meltingpot Readers,

I have a confession to make. My children might turn out to be complete social misfits because Ms. Meltingpot doesn’t do playdates. It’s not like I have anything against the playdate and I’m not a Tiger Mother like Amy Chua who forbids her children from fraternizing with ‘Western’ kids. But I have my reasons. Up until now, I’ve kind of kept these reasons to myself and tried to pretend that I just hadn’t found the right time to arrange a playdate for my two sons, but I’ve decided to come clean and own up to my truth. Playdates just don’t work for me. So, without shame, I share my five simple reasons why I don’t do playdates.

1. My life is too busy and too full with my own three kids. Just the idea of adding somebody else’s kid to the mix is mind numbing.

2. During the week, my kids barely have time to do their homework,  practice their instruments, go to karate practice, and manage their few required chores around the house. The weekends are almost as hectic with karate tournaments, softball games, etc. Squeezing in a playdate requires a type of time-management skill set that I clearly don’t posses. Neither do my kids.

3. My house doesn’t lend itself to little boys playing in it and I don’t have a backyard or a finished basement. If little boys were going to come over to my house to play, I’d need a safe place to send them and my living room isn’t it.

4. Play dates can be dangerous. And by dangerous I mean that when my kids go to other kids’ houses and they experience the glory of cable TV, video games and an unlimited supply of Pop Tarts and other treats that Ms. Meltingpot refuses to buy, they come home surly and angry that they got stuck with me for a mother. Like I need that kind of attitude.

5. Last but not least. I don’t do play dates because we live on a nice block with lots of kids. On any given day when the weather is nice and my boys go outside, they have spontaneous play dates. They play pick-up games of basketball and hide-and-go seek. They ride bikes and last week they buried a time capsule. There’s no pre-planning involved on my part, nobody has to drive anybody anywhere and my living room furniture is preserved.

It might be different with babygirl. Maybe girl playdates are different. Maybe we’ll live in a different house by the time playdates for her come up. Maybe I’ll be a more mellow, less busy mom in a few years time and I will embrace the playdate wholeheartedly. Or not.

What about you dear readers? Do you do playdates? Why or why not? I’m totally listening.


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4 Thoughts to “Five Simple Reasons Why I Don’t Do Playdates”

  1. Well I have a girl and I am not a fan of the play-date either. In part because unless it’s during a vacation time, how does one reasonably fit it in? It’s the same reason I am not a fan of extracurricular activities, they disrupt the natural flow of our lives.

    There are really only 2 kids, we do play-dates with and in the one case it’s because we are friends with the parents so we all end up getting together and the girls get to play.

    I wouldn’t sweat it, as my 21 year old reminded me, he rarely had play dates and isn’t scarred for life.

    1. Ms. Meltingpot

      Hi BGIM,
      Welcome to the Meltingpot! Thanks for speaking up. Clearly I’m not the only who shuns the playdate. I don’t feel so bad anymore. And you have proof that we’re not hurting anyone. See, mama does know best.

  2. Wendy

    I don’t do play dates either. I find the entire concept a bit obnoxious. But delving deeper, we don’t do play dates because…

    1. She’s at school all day.

    2. When she comes home, we have to do homework.

    3. When she gets off the bus, she plays with a neighbor boy if the weather is nice. When we take the dog for an evening walk, we invite the neighbor girl if the weather is nice.

    4. I don’t want my daughter to enjoy too much TV in English.

    5. She’d probably go all militant vegetarian on the family at meal time. My daughter says exactly what is on her mind and always goes to extremes.

    6. My daughter has severe ADHD. She’d probably freak out at someone’s house… or freak the parents out.

    7. This summer, she is spending a week at me-maw’s house in North Carolina. She will be having a week long play date with my mom and her cousins. I will miss her terribly.

    1. Ms. Meltingpot

      You had me at #5! LOL! I miss my kids too when I send them away. Thanks for making me feel quasi-normal with my no playdates ways. 🙂

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