Nobody Ever Talks about Illness Ruining Your Chance to Move Abroad

It takes a lot of courage to decide to move to another country, especially when you have a stable and successful career and family in your home country. But when you see and hear about all of the other people in your age group and demographic who have successfully made the transition, you really start to believe it’s possible. At least I did. I took a course, I read blogs and listened to a million podcasts to get myself and my family mentally, emotionally and financially ready to move to Spain in 2021. I thought I had prepared for everything, but I was wrong. The one thing I didn’t prepare for and couldn’t have known was the possibility of a life-changing illness ruining my chances to move abroad.

Strange Symptoms

In the summer of 2020 I experienced some strange symptoms that led my neurologist to suspect that I might have multiple sclerosis. It was the middle of the pandemic and I had stayed away from doctors and hospitals but had to now schedule blood tests and MRIs to see what was wrong with me. At this point, we had decided to move to Spain but hadn’t officially announced it or made any significant life changes. Suddenly our plans to move abroad were at risk.

I didn’t want to tell anyone. I didn’t want to worry anyone. I didn’t want to make myself crazy, but I started doing tons of research on MS. The symptoms; what it was like to live with MS; and perhaps most importantly, could I travel with MS. Before I even got to my third doctor’s appointment I had made it up in my mind that I wasn’t going to put my dreams of living abroad on hold, just because I might have this condition. I even heard a podcast episode about a woman who lives a nomadic lifestyle – living and traveling all over the world –  and has MS. (I think the universe did that for me.) But that was mostly just bravado. I had no idea what being diagnosed with MS would mean for our plans, but I did know that things wouldn’t be the same and I had no control over the outcome.

Suspicious Tests

Because I have become terribly claustrophobic in the last few years, I wasn’t able to get an MRI and ended up having to have some different types of tests to determine if I had MS or not. Due to the pandemic (and my own procrastination), this process stretched out over several months. And during this time, while we were continuing to plan for our move, I had a mammogram and the results came back “suspicious.” Back in 2016, I had a breast cancer scare that ended up with me having a minor surgery after many months of tests and procedures. I didn’t have cancer, but for some reason, it took a long time to determine that fact. So, this time, when I was told I needed to get a biopsy because of something “suspicious” that showed up on the mammogram, I almost wept. I couldn’t believe it was happening again, particularly when a dear friend who is my very same age was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

I had to wonder, was my move abroad going to be thwarted by illness?

Nobody Ever Talks about Illness Ruining Your Chance to Move Abroad

Even though I feel like I’ve consumed a steady diet of podcasts and blogs about moving abroad, I don’t think I’ve heard one person talk about how their plans for moving abroad were thwarted by a disease or diagnosis. I’m not saying they don’t exist, I just haven’t heard those stories. And I mean, I’m not sure anyone wants to hear a podcast episode from the person who is not living her best life abroad because she had to suffer through chemotherapy.  I’m not mad about that, but I really yearned  to hear from others who maybe had to face the possibility of illness while trying to decide if they should continue on with their plans to move to a different country.

Good News but Still Shell Shocked

Last week my neurologist gave me the good news that I don’t have MS! I am so grateful – although I still don’t know what caused the weird symptoms. Even though in my heart of hearts I didn’t believe I had MS, that could simply have been denial. I’m sure nobody walks around going, “yeah, I think I have multiple sclerosis.” And as I write this, I’m waiting for the biopsy results from my doctor. I’ve been working on positive affirmations and we are still operating as if… As if, I’m healthy and we’re going to Spain. 

I didn’t hit publish on this post because I was hoping to hear from my doctor. He just called and told me everything was benign!!! So, I am cleared for take-off.

There are No Lessons Learned. It Just Sucks.

One of the reasons el esposo and I had decided to make this big move now, as opposed to waiting for our middle son to finish high school, was because of the lessons from the pandemic. Even though it is such a big, fat cliché, we realized that tomorrow isn’t promised. The pandemic snatched lives with abandon and we saw the devastation. So, we stopped playing safe and scared and said, let’s do this thing now before we don’t have the choice to make. Clearly my body wanted to show me that even with the right mindset, the choice isn’t really mine to make.

Cancer or Covid, illness can take anyone down without asking permission.

I don’t have any advice for other people suddenly confronted with a disease or diagnosis that forces you to cancel your plans to move abroad, but I see you. I see you, I’m holding space for you, and I’m sorry. And I can only hope that others share their stories so when it happens to the next person, they don’t feel so alone. I didn’t write this post to gather sympathy, I really wanted to share my experience so others who may face this awful scenario, know that there is someone out here who gets it.

Did Illness Ruin Your Move Abroad?

If anyone wants to share their experience in the comments below, please know I’m listening, and I’m sure you will find that someone else is listening too.