The Threat of Teenage White Boys

The irony isn’t lost on me, that I’m writing this post on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, a day presumably meant to focus our energies and attention on racial reconciliation and justice. Instead, I’m thinking about an incident that has captured the nation’s attention and involves people of color in conflict with white people.

Of course, I’m speaking about this weekend’s news story about a group of mostly white teenage boys from Covington Catholic High School, in confrontation with a Native American elder. The video of the exchange shows a rowdy group of boys, many of whom were wearing red Make America Great Again baseball caps, shouting and chanting as the Native American man plays his drum and sings. There is one boy in the group who stares at the man with a smirk on his face, who appears to be participating in some kind of face-off. The whole scene looks hostile and incredibly disrespectful.

But maybe that’s not the whole story.

Who Started it? Who Cares?

As more details have come to light, it appears that there were other players in this story. The Hebrew Israelites, a religious group known for shouting at people on street corners, were also involved. Other Native Americans were on hand for a rally that had happened earlier in the day. So, who started it? Who hurled the first insult? Who got in whose face first?

Guess what? I don’t care. I don’t care who started it. Like any good mother, I want to know why nobody stopped “it.” And what is the “it” we’re talking about here? I’m talking about the perceived threat of a group of white teenage boys wearing MAGA hats, screaming and chanting around a Native American elder.

Optics are Everything

Here’s the problem. In America we spend so much time teaching Black and brown boys how to behave so as not to scare white people or attract the attention of police,

we have forgotten, overlooked, ignored the fact that white teenage boys are scary as hell to a lot of people too.

I know it’s too early to tell what really happened on those Washington DC steps. I also recognize that depending on one’s personal beliefs and politics, we may never come to consensus about what really happened or who started the events now captured on video. But no matter how you look at the situation, even if you believe the version of the truth put forth by some, that the boys were simply singing their high school fight song to drown out the insults of the Black Israelites, those students from Covington Catholic High School still look like an unruly mob of white boys surrounding an elderly man of color. And you can’t expect people – Black people, Native people, Latino people, Asian people, immigrants – who have been at the receiving end of white mob violence, not to be triggered by what they saw.

The Perceived Threat of White Boys is Real

Since Trayvon Martin was brutally murdered, Black parents have had to double down giving “The Talk” to their sons, making sure that they understand that something as innocuous as wearing a hoodie could get them shot by the police. They’ve had to teach them that everything they do could be misinterpreted as a threat; reaching for a cell phone, riding their bike in a wealthy neighborhood (even if it’s their own neighborhood), wrestling with dreadlocks. Even before Trayvon Martin, there was Emmett Till and countless other Black males who served as unfortunate examples of why Black boys had to always be aware of their actions in public, lest they be seen as a threat. Or dangerous. Or a monster.

Why don’t we have the same expectations for white boys? Why don’t parents of white boys tell them that when they are in a group in public and they are loud and rowdy, that they harken up images of drunken sports fans/frat boys, who ignore the laws of common decency; blood thirsty lynch mobs from the not so distant past; and white supremacists who may or may not carry a hood in his back pocket.

For people of color, for women, for members of the LGBTQ community, the perceived threat of a group of white teenage boys is real. And in today’s political climate, the addition of red Make America Great Again hats only adds fuel to the fire. Those red hats have become symbols of racist aggression, full stop. So, if a person is wearing a MAGA hat, he should expect people to make assumptions about their politics and beliefs. The same would be true for a Black person wearing a Black Panther T-shirt, black beret and an Afro. Certain items of clothing are meant to reflect one’s politics. So, if you don’t want to be accused of being a racist, then don’t wear a hat that a lot of racists wear. If you don’t want to be seen as a Black radical, then leave your black beret at home. It’s pretty simple.

“The Talk” for White Boys

What’s not so simple, however, is centering the experiences of people of color, so that white parents start giving The Talk to their children, especially to their boys. White parents need to make their sons understand that they too are scary to a lot of people. Then they need to explain to those very same boys that it is their responsibility to help dismantle the legacy of white supremacy in this country, by reminding themselves every single day that they enjoy a privilege that they did not earn, simply by being born male and white. And in order to balance the scales of racial injustice and de-escalate the intensity of toxic masculinity, whenever they have a chance to go out in the world and do good works, THEY SHOULDN’T WEAR RACIST HATS or STAND AROUND AN OLD NATIVE AMERICAN MAN SHOUTING LIKE A DERANGED MOB OF DAYS GONE BY. Otherwise, people may get the wrong idea. (Or maybe, it’s the right idea.)

Instead, when given an opportunity to learn about other cultures and communities, go with an open heart and an open mind. Listen to the lessons and experiences community members want to share. Expect nothing in return except greater knowledge for oneself. And most importantly, remember, we learn better with our ears open and our mouths closed.

Take a Lesson from Gillette

These lessons may seem overwhelming and too much to put on teenage boys, but if white parents don’t start educating their boys about their responsibility in the world, and how their actions will be perceived by the public, we’re all doomed. I don’t mean to sound redundant, but again, Black parents have been putting this burden on their children for 400 years. So, white parents should feel encouraged. Besides, the message of equality and justice can broken down in digestible bits and teachable moments. It doesn’t have to come all at once. And of course, if all else fails, parents can just show their sons that great Gillette razor commercial and go from there.